In this Work there is no such thing as pretending to do good when you really will bad. It is no use pretending to be nice to other people when you hate them in your heart. All this Work depends on inner sincerity. External considering is not hypocrisy, it is not "good works," but it is a question of inner attitude. Remember that when you find the same thing in yourself that you are blaming in someone else it has the magical effect of cancelling the whole situation out. This is real "forgiving". You know that our natural state is to be very surprised that there is anything wrong with ourselves. Of course we often blame ourselves, as it were. We say, for example: "Yes, I am afraid I was very much to blame for that incident." "Yes, certainly you were," says the other person.
Are you not then very startled? Why, you will be hurt and offended at once. All this is because it is very difficult to think that anything is wrong with us and it is all part of the sleep we are in, the deep sleep that covers all humanity. Now self-observation is very harsh and becomes more harsh. If it is done sincerely it will hurt. But it lets light in and stops all sorts of rank weeds from growing within, and amongst them all the strange growths due to internal considering and self-pity and song-singing. And then at last we begin to see what it means that we must realize that we are nothing before we can expect to be something.
Maurice Nicoll, “Internal Considering and External Considering” in Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky (Vol. 1, p. 259).
Working Note: For Today’s Inner Effort
Orientation: Let self-observation touch self-love without defence.
What to Notice:
The wish to appear good outwardly while inwardly negative.
Inner offence when corrected.
The instant hurt after admitting fault.
Secret self-justification.
Internal considering after criticism.
Self-pity disguised as sincerity.
Blaming another for what is active in yourself.
Wanting acknowledgment for “being honest.”
Avoiding unpleasant self-observation.
Work Effort for Today:
When hurt arises, do not justify yourself for ten seconds.
Remain externally quiet.
Observe the reaction in emotional center.
Find the same thing in yourself.
Remember: This hurt belongs to sleep. Observe without defence.
