I spoke some time ago about the dark side of us, the side that we do not properly admit into our consciousness and both know about and do not. Mr. Ouspensky once said: "We see only one half of things." We have to accept this dark side. It does not seem to correspond to our estimate of ourselves. Self-observation is compared, as we all know, with a ray of light let in to our inner darkness. So we gradually find that we are not what we thought or imagined. This is the beginning of self-change.
We gradually find that Imaginary 'I' does not fit us properly. We are trying to be something that we are not and this produces a psychological inner strain. We do not correspond to ourselves. Here the idea of False Personality comes in. You say, for example: "Thank God, I am not like that publican." You may remember the parable. If you say this you are lying to yourself through the action of False Personality which always lies to you and always seeks to be superior to others… As we are, we live on one side of a circle. We live in the front or the back. So we cannot walk round the full circle of Being. Wc only admit part of our Being at a time. Mr. Ouspensky said we must see both sides together.
Maurice Nicoll, “Commentary on Acceptance of Oneself” in Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky (Vol. 3, p. 875).
Working Note: For Today’s Inner Effort
Orientation: Do not identify with one side of yourself.
What to Notice:
Feeling certain you are “not like that.”
An image of yourself you protect.
Rejecting traits that do not fit this image.
A sense of strain in keeping this up.
A glimpse of the opposite in you.
Work Effort for Today:
When you affirm yourself, stop inwardly.
Say: “this is one side only.”
Look for the other side in yourself now.
Hold both without choosing.
Remember: You are not only what you take yourself to be.
