We spoke of life being a series of events that produce a series of states in us. We are not aware of this. We neither observe consciously the event nor do we observe consciously the effect it has on us. For example, the waiter seems rude or does not instantly attend to your needs. You fly into a temper. This kind of event of the waiter not attending to you instantly, always produces a state of violence in you. But you do not see that this particular kind of event mechanically produces a particular kind of state in you. You may remain all your life unaware of this, although other people are painfully aware of it. You also must become painfully aware of it.
But since you are unaware of it you do not see it is an unpleasant part of your psychology and so you will not attempt to transform it. Instead, you try to transform the waiter. Now, if you are serious in really wishing to change your psychology, which means to change your Being, you will see that you have to do quite a lot even to change one thing. But nothing will change in you unless you can become conscious of the fact that you have a definite psychology which causes you to behave in a certain way to a certain event. If you can never see this, there will be no hope of your ever changing yourself and you will continue to believe in yourself. Those who have begun to observe themselves have already taken a big step forward in their possible evolution. They have begun to take the path to self-knowledge.
Maurice Nicoll, “Psycho-Transformism and Self-Observation” in Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky (Vol. 5, p. 1732).
Working Note
Instead of trying to change today’s events, observe the state each event produces in you.
Today’s Aim
To see the connection between outer events and inner states.
Notice
The event before the reaction.
A familiar state returning.
The impulse to blame the other person.
The feeling that the problem is outside you.
A moment when simple observation becomes possible.
Practice
Choose one recurring event today—a delay, interruption, criticism, or inconvenience. Rather than following your usual reaction, observe the state it awakens in you.
Do not try to change the event. Let the event reveal something about your own psychology.
Remember
Every event is an opportunity to see yourself before you try to change someone else.
The Weekly Aim
“I will observe my first inner reaction before I explain or express it.”
