Take an ordinary mechanical man or woman—that is, an ordinary person. They are full of buffers, prejudices, negative attitudes, pictures of themselves, vanity, typical gramophone records, and so on. Suppose they attempt, as they are, to externally consider, really to put themselves in another person’s life, into his situation, into his mind. Do you think they will be able to do so? Of course not. They do not see themselves. So how can they see the other person? And if they do not see the other person, how can they put themselves in the other person’s position?
That is why it is said that before you can begin to externally consider in a real way, you must have reached some degree of self-observation and it is only according to your degree of self-observation and self-knowledge that you can externally consider another person. In so far as you know yourself, you will know aright the other person: in so far as you can see yourself you can see others aright. Do you know, each one of you here now, how tiresome, how difficult, how unpleasant, how prejudiced, how exacting, you can be? Have you noticed it? If so, then you are in a better position to externally consider other people, for when you see their faults you will also see your own faults.
Maurice Nicoll, “Internal Considering and External Considering” in Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky (Vol. 1, p. 268-269).
Working Note: For Today’s Inner Effort
Orientation: Use self-observation before judging another person.
What to Notice:
A fault noticed quickly in someone else.
A mechanical dislike arising.
A demand that another person be different.
Forgetting similar manifestations in yourself.
Work Effort for Today:
When you see a fault in another, observe yourself first.
Recall one similar manifestation in your own psychology.
Do not express the reaction.
Remain in self-observation for a few seconds.
Remember: See your own manifestation before judging theirs.
For Your Reflection:
“As you know yourself, you will know aright the other person.”
That lands differently the longer I live. So often I think I’m seeing someone clearly, only to discover I’m reacting through old habits, assumptions, or a familiar story about myself.
Even a little honest self-observation can soften the way I meet another person. It doesn’t make relationships easy, but it makes them more real.
How does this show up in your own experience? Join the conversation in the comments below.
