One source of internal considering is called “making accounts”. In short, you feel the other person owes you something. Now if you start by trying to externally consider another person from the basis of internal considering, from the basis of thinking the other person should be different, your external considering will be nothing but internal considering. You are making no attempt to start from the right basis of external considering, which is putting yourself in the other person’s situation. On the contrary, you are starting from your own situation, not from the other person’s.
And in comparison with the real external considering, this is nothing but a form of hypocrisy and you will probably end only by shrugging your shoulders and saying: “Well, I have done my best for this person and I cannot do more.” So you will wash your hands of him in your own feelings of merit and virtue. But I assure you that external considering in the Work-sense is nothing like that.
Maurice Nicoll, “Internal Considering and External Considering” in Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky (Vol. 1, p. 268-269).
Working Note: For Today’s Inner Effort
Orientation: Observe making accounts in relationship.
What to Notice:
Feeling someone owes you recognition.
Rehearsing what another person should do.
Keeping an inner account of efforts made.
Secret feelings of merit, virtue, or sacrifice.
Work Effort for Today:
Cancel one inner account immediately.
Do not collect evidence against the person.
Put yourself briefly in their situation.
Drop the demand inwardly and continue.
Remember: No accounts; see the other person from their side.
For Your Reflection:
“Putting yourself in the other person’s situation.”
It’s striking how quickly I can believe I’m being patient, generous, or understanding while quietly measuring what someone owes me in return. The moment I notice that inner accounting, something shifts.
Real consideration seems to begin when I loosen my grip on my own story long enough to wonder what life looks like from the other side.
How does this show up in your own experience? Join the conversation in the comments below.
