Let us take an example, step by step. Someone speaks and behaves in a way I resent violently. I make bitter retorts. I open a number of store-cupboards filled with carefully preserved bitter memories. I go on and on blaming the person, I cannot sleep, and so on. This is the life-way. The Work-way is different.
First step: I observe I am violent and bitter. This is quite different from just being violent and bitter. It lets a ray of light in—that is, whereas I was unconscious, being identified with my state, I now am slightly conscious of it. I also notice and remember a little what I am saying and usually say. Second step: I recall that no matter who is to blame I am to blame for being negative. If I value the Work this helps me to turn round and look for the cause in myself and not in the person. Third step: I must ask what is it connected with in the customary feeling of myself, that is behind the outburst. I reflect in that quietness and strainlessness that comes when one is paying directed attention sincerely to oneself.
Maurice Nicoll, “The Idea of Balanced Man: The Feeling of Oneself” in Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky (Vol. 5, p. 1529-1530).
Working Note: For Today’s Inner Effort
Orientation: Turn from blame to self-observation.
What to Notice:
A bitter retort forming.
Old memories being reopened.
Inner blaming continuing after the event.
The feeling of “I” behind the violence.
Work Effort for Today:
Stop one retort before it is expressed.
See the negative state as yours.
Sense the body and look inward.
Ask quietly what in you has been touched.
Remember: The Work begins when blame turns back toward myself.
